Donald Trump recently made a surprise trip to Camden Town*. He shared his thoughts with us about what he saw.
The Wall around Camden Market
Donald got a limousine to the main Stables Market entrance. His very first comment? “Look at that awesome wall! I want a wall like that. How much did it cost? Did you get them to pay for it? I bet it keeps them out!”
Little does ‘Don’ know that the wall was built in 1882, which is pretty much older than the whole of America.
Drumpf was not at all impressed when he took his first walk through the market. He grimaced as he went through the KERB street food market. Venezuelan food, Colombian, French, OMG Mexican food, and Indian food. The Don wondered why there is so much on offer from “sh*thole countries.”
However, when Trump tasted one of The Patate’s burgers, he said “the French are a terrible nation, but this burger is almost as good as McDonalds. Mc-Donalds. Mc-Donald Trump. See what he did there? We didn’t think it was very clever either.
As we know, Camden Town has the most wonderful women in the world – those who live here and those who visit. The most beautiful, smart, creative, empowered women. When Trump was walking through the West Yard we overheard him say, as he spotted a lady walking past, “I’d like to get all Stormy Daniels with that.” We’re not so sure that Melania would approve.
Donald went to check out the watches at Camden Watch Company, who have a lovely little shop in the market. There he suddenly burst out saying “Kim, my big red button is bigger than yours!” As it turns out, the person standing in front of him, admiring the selection of watches, was just wearing a winter hat which slightly resembled Kim’s haircut. A bit silly, if you asked us.
As “The Trump” got a bit tired and out of breath (he’s used to playing golf remember, not walking around Europe’s biggest market) he went to a tattoo shop and asked “Where is your gun?” As Zoli, the tattooist said to him, “I don’t have a gun, Sir” Drumpf lost control and yelled “more guns, nobody here has a gun, everybody has the right to own a gun!” Zoli suitably told Donald to “shove off, mate.”
*not at all true, but we couldn’t resist.
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